Nowhere to Belong

    Caught in the middle of two worlds, the theme that defines my life.  The fact of the matter is, you can’t please everyone.  The past few years I have been moving around a lot, while making and losing good friends.  I have my fiancé at the college that I was last at, along with many good friends.  I have my family, and old friends from high school back at my home town, and I have my newest friends here at Chico.  Nowhere is home to me anymore and I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.  Furthermore, everyone complains that I don’t spend enough time with them.  My friends that live here in Chico say that I go leave too often.  My family says they never see me, and my fiancé and old friends miss having me around all the time.  I spend most of my weekends driving six or more hours to try and please everyone.  My suitcase is always packed and I am never settled down. 

In the book titled The Floating World, by Ishiguro, the main character Masuji Ono was caught between two worlds.  Ono was an artist, while his father was a business man who was into his money.  Ono’s father doesn’t approve of the life that Ono lives as an artist, and so he tries to change it by living his life out through him.  His father says that artists live a lifestyle of poverty and so are beneath everyone else.  Ono does not have a lot of money like his father does, but he does own a large house, which he received at an auction of prestige. 

Ono struggles through life with a constant tension with his father.  There different ways of life left Ono feel like he doesn’t belong in any world.   The irony of it all was that no matter how hard he tried, traits of his father were carried along in Ono’s life.  Ono later has a grandson, who is living a life that he disagrees with.  His grandson is nothing like a Japanese boy should be according to Ono.  He is disrespectful to elders, and is into the western world. 

 The theme of this book is true for most of us today.  None of us like change.  We believe that our understanding of the world is best the way that we perceive it.  As I have experienced a great amount of change in the last few years, I know what it is like to be caught in the middle of two worlds.  Where you never belong, and can’t please everyone.  At the same time, I am probably guilty of the same accusations.  Always wanting the world to be comfortable and to fit into the puzzle that we perceive is a dangerous trap that can leave others with feelings of abandonment and no place to belong.